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Page Contents: The mistake of wanting to have sex with your psychotherapist.                    

 

I am married, but lately I am having fantasies about having sex with my therapist. Telling my therapist is out of the question, so will I end up trying to seduce him if I don’t tell?

 
There is no way for anyone to predict exactly what will happen if you don’t talk about the fantasies. But I can guarantee that if you don’t talk about them, whatever happens won’t be pleasant. And it won’t be psychotherapy.

The truth is, sexual fantasies usually aren’t even about sexuality; if you make the effort to examine them psychologically and objectively, you will find that they usually point to deep, unresolved emotional conflicts about a need for acceptance and a fear of abandonment, usually deriving from emotional wounds in childhood because of parental failures.

If you talk about these erotic feelings in psychotherapy—and if your psychotherapist is competent enough to interpret them—then you have a chance to heal those conflicts. And that will be psychotherapy.

 


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Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D.
San Francisco
 
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Throughout this website, my goal is simply to help you realize that although life can be painful, unfair, and brutal, it doesn’t have to be misery.
 
The practice of good clinical psychology involves something—call it comfort—which does not mean sympathy or soothing, and it certainly doesn’t mean to have your pain “taken away.” It really means to be urged on to take up the cup of your destiny, with courage and honesty.


 

A Guide to Psychology and its Practice

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