I have
been seeing a psychotherapist on a weekly basis for the last year. Chief
issues are trust, especially in my relationship, inadequacy, fear of the
future, being alone and of course self-esteem. I have not noticed a positive
change in my thinking, handling of lifes problems although I have managed
to get a temporary job since therapy began. In the last two weeks I have
noticed a worsening of symptoms: panic, mistrust of my partner, inability
to concentrate at work. I seem to be carrying my insecurity into all spheres
of my life and have even considered hospitalisation. My therapist says that
she sees improvement not necessarily in the intensity but in the duration
of my moods; I however feel more immersed in them. I feel incapable of continuing
my present employment and relationship and even fear that I will not
“heal” if I do not end my relationship. My therapist says that
this will not eliminate the actual problems. Is this a normal process/phase
within therapy?
It’s possible that you are experiencing symptoms of
Major Depression
and that medication might be necessary. If your psychotherapist cannot talk
competently with you about
diagnosis and
medication issues,
then you might want to get a second opinion.
Nevertheless,
“partners” often cause more psychiatric problems—especially
depression—than our culture is willing to admit. As I say on the page
about Sexuality and
Love, we commonly seek out “love” relationships as a way to
hide our deepest wounds of insecurity and inadequacy. And our entire
culture—through advertising and entertainment—supports this illusion
with constant brainwashing into the belief that if you can only find the
right “lover” you will be happy ever after.
Therefore, going
into psychotherapy to heal problems with inadequacy, loneliness, and low
self-esteem, and all the while trying to keep a “partner,” is like
trying to fill a bucket with holes in it.
So I would recommend
the opposite approach of your “therapist.” End the relationship
with your partner—and then stop all dating and sexual activity completely,
throughout the course of the psychotherapy, so that you can stop hiding behind
illusions of romance and start turning your attention to being alone in the
treatment with the real problem: your
fear of being
alone.
I wouldn’t
be surprised if this simple resolution—without any medication—were
to lead to more immediate relief than the entire previous year of psychotherapy
has provided thus far.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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