I want
more than anything for my therapist to hug me because it hurts so much sometimes
when we talk. Would that be inappropriate?
There is nothing inappropriate with wanting a hug
from your psychotherapist. The problems begin when you start to
believe that a hug will somehow make your psychotherapy
better.
A
psychotherapist’s job is to help you
encounter and
verbalize the unspoken emotional pain that you have been avoiding all your
life. Hugging your psychotherapist can give the illusion of some momentary
relief, but relief is not healing. A hug, under these circumstances, will
only “short-circuit” the intensity of the healing process. Healing
comes only from facing the pain directly and
honestly and then
putting it into words. Only when you want
healing more than
anything else—more even than a hug—will you find
healing.
Once you have
encountered your emotional pain and understood it, then you will have the capacity
for emotionally genuine relationships, and you can give and receive all the
hugs you want
from friends and relatives.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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