I’m
looking for a psychotherapist. There are only a few who do psychodynamic
therapy here, just about four or five of them. Two of them are out of town
so I don’t really have a choice. I already know the person who is supposed
to be the best. The problem is that I already have a sort of a relationship
with him. I have been contacting him to help me out in my academics because
he is also a professor of psychology at the university. He couldn’t
do much to help me though. But every time I would call him I felt my low
self esteem and I felt like he doesn’t like me and I’m bothering
him. Since I don’t have much of a choice of psychotherapists, I was
wondering if I should get into therapy with him. But with such a relationship,
don’t you think the psychotherapeutic process will be
affected?
Your dilemma raises the issue of dual relationships in
psychotherapy.
Actually, it’s
the psychotherapist’s responsibility—not the client’s
responsibility—to avoid any dual relationship such as
teacher-psychotherapist, business partner-psychotherapist, sexual
partner-psychotherapist, and so on. For example, if you were to have a
psychotherapist who is also your professor, his knowledge of your personal
issues could
unconsciously influence
the grades he gives you.
In your case,
the professor of whom you speak could ethically function as your psychotherapist
as long as you are not taking any classes from him for a grade. And, if he
does become your psychotherapist, you should never take any classes (for
a grade) from him in the future. If you can accept these terms, then choose
him; if you cannot accept these terms, choose someone else.
As for your personal
feelings about this man, the whole issue of your low self-esteem is a good
reason to be in psychotherapy in the first place—and what a good way
to encounter
it than with this professor. In other words, we should be using psychotherapy
to face up to and overcome the
ugly aspects of our
lives; if, in the psychotherapy you hide or avoid these aspects of yourself,
then you really are not doing psychotherapy in the first place.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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