can people whos [ sic ] jobs are to care be such a [
expletive ]? Stop being an [ expletive ]; your [
sic ] a dumb [ expletive ] head.
I dont get much hate mail, but the little I do get
comes from persons whose orientation to life stands upon a seething mass
of unconscious hostility and
anger and who object
when, in my own political incorrectness, I dare to say so. And why are you
so consumed with anger and hostility?
Well, your bitterness derives from
the fact that your parents didnt really love youthat is, they didnt
care for you as a child needs to be cared for with real love. Instead your
parents manipulated you emotionally and treated you like an object, leaving
you emotionally crippled, with a
fear of love.
Wanting a psychotherapist to care for you is just a way to avoid admitting
the truth that your parents did not care for you.
Have you ever
heard the term cognitive dissonance? In
music, dissonance refers to tones that do not harmonize with each
other; in psychology, cognitive dissonance refers to perceptions or
beliefs that do not harmonize logically with each other.
happens to many children during childhood. To establish the trust for their
parents that allows for basic survival, children have a natural belief that
says, My parents love me. But then many children experience a
parent doing things that cause emotional or physical harm to them. Thus the
children experience dissonance between the belief that says, My parents
love me. and the perception that says, My parents do not love me.
To resolve this dissonance, many children take up a new belief that seems to
make sense of the perception that parents who are supposed to love me
are hurting methus the children tell themselves, I dont
deserve to be treated with love.
In essence, without
being able to express the truth that their parents are psychologically
take the blame on themselves, believing that they are contemptible failures and
dont deserve love.
Sadly, the problem
compounds itself, because unconsciously
any child knows the truthMy parents really do not love meand
yet fears to admit it. Thus unconscious anger at the
parents builds up but, because it cannot be expressed, it gets directed at the
world around the child, and the child ends up pointing at everyone else saying,
You dont care about me!
leads right into the authentic value of your
psychotherapists job really to care?
Well, in the
technical sense, no. A psychotherapists job does not involve being
a nanny, a friend, or confidant; it does not involve
making you feel good about yourself; and it does not involve supporting you
in pointing blame
at someone or something else, either personally or
psychotherapists job should be nothing more than helping you recognize
the structure of your
so as to confront your pain
change your behavior in the process.
To do the job
well, though, the psychotherapist must be willing and able to probe into
all the dark and
unpleasant areas of your psyche that you, in
shame and guilt,
would prefer to keep hidden.
is where it gets sticky, because many psychotherapists are themselves caught
up in the very social
illusions that secretly conspire to deny the nature of the psyches
dark, and often unpleasant, reality. So how can such personsthese bad
therapists I often mention in these pageshave any deep
healing influence? Well, in many cases, they cant. And so, it comes
to this: only those who care enough about their job to cultivate, through
rigorous scrutiny, their own self-honesty will, in the end, be able to show
that they really care about you. Its a genuine caring, and it cares nothing
for political correctness.
advertisingno sponsorjust the simple truth . . .